i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
