I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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