I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
