Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was confusing and full of hummus
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
