they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
