i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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