im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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