There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
