Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
