oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
