Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i barfeds in our rink
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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