Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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