i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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