If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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