Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
