I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
