Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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