sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
