never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
