i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
