I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
