Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we're making bets on your personal life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize