Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
