I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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