I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
