how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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