I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
