he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
