I just saw a hot homeless man
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm like, not good at living.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
