Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
