oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize