Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
