He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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