went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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