I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Michael Bay diarrhea
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
