Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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