i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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