How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
