I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
