then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We are all done wearing pants today
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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