i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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