he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
