Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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