I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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