And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize