WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
