i think my tv is drunk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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