You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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