So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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