I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
