When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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