he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
