no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
