do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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