And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your cock deserves a montage
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
