I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
