I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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