At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
