there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
