There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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