I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I will be naked everywhere
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
