PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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