Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
