can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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