What did we do last night that was yellow?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
