hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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