Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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