just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize