Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
