While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize