dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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