Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do herpes really smell.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
