I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
