Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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